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Rabbi Talks Kosher Turkey

Rabbi Talks Kosher Turkey

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Rabbi Perl Talks Kosher Turkey On Thanksgivukkah Eve,Grants Presidential Pardon

 

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The community is responding creatively to this year’s rate convergence of Thanksgiving and Chanukah. It has even been trademarked as "Thanksgivukkah".

"For those considering becoming kosher, this Jewish American mashup is a great fun time to begin," says Rabbi Anchelle Perl, Chabad director to Mineola Long Island. "We are suggesting to simply starting by buying a kosher turkey and making a completely kosher Thanksgiving Chanukah party for family and friends."

Wondering what the kosher turkey has to say? Listen in to this exclusive interview.

Rabbi Anchelle Perl:Thank you for agreeing to speak with me. Would you prefer I call you by your first name Turkey or the family name Turkey?

Turkey: Either way is fine, I answer to both.

RAP:What was your reaction to finding out that this year's Thanksgiving is the first day Chanukah?

Turkey: I am delighted, for me to be basking in the shadow of the Menorah, will certainly shine a new light on my skin and self-sacrifice for the community. With just a little effort it could signal a more meaningful Thanksgiving.

Just think of the taste of turkey now lingering on for at least 8 days, especially if I was deep-fried in pure Chanukah olive oil! Haha...that was a joke. (It seems that turkey's have no compunction at laughing at their own jokes, they come with two drumsticks for their own rimshots!)

....at this point the interview is interrupted by the sound of the turkey's ringing iPhone...Wing! Wing! .... Hi this is turkey speaking....could you speak more slowly...it's all gobble gobble to me.... (Listens in silence)

Turkey hangs up. Looks up ..."My friend is a real turkey, he wants to know if it's ok for him to be brought in live, into the Synagogue, in honor of this Thanksgiving Chanukah? Your thoughts rabbi?

RAP: Sorry not in my Shul, I couldn't take the fowl language. But back to your earlier comments. Can you elaborate on the ways Chanukah will be more fulfilling with this year’s convergence with the Thanksgiving turkey?

Turkey:This is my recipe for an uplifting experience...

1.​First make sure the turkey you are eating is kosher!

2.​Then check out to be sure to make the proper blessings [brocha] before and after eating the thanksgiving meal.

3.​Also remember that the turkey may just be a reincarnation [gilgul] of a human ​being, sent back into this world as this animal, only waiting to be elevated and ​rectified by your efforts to be sure it's kosher and your pronouncement of the ​correct blessing before eating.

4. ​Finally don’t forget while you are eating the turkey, look at the Chanukah ​lights burning brightly in your home. Express gratitude to our Creator; give ​thanks to those who protect us, for the past benefits from schools and ​jobs, for being judged favorably by others, for being able transform a worry ​into gratitude and to always speak in tones of appreciation and thanks!

RAP:Thank you. By the way could you tell us why all the surviving kosher turkeys are planning to cross the road on Thanksgiving eve?

Turkey:Sure, to watch the outdoor Chabad menorah lightings!

RAP:​You have me thinking. Thanksgiving with Chanukah will allow us to proclaim an even deeper appreciation to the USA. America's foundation was laid down by its original settlers: immediately after arriving in this country, they proclaimed a holiday of thanksgiving to G-d for bringing them to a secure land and saving them from religious oppression. Thank you America for the freedom of religion we all enjoy!

Turkey:Have you finished this interview already, you are starting to ruffle my feathers. Well, maybe we better call it a day.  I’ve got to hurry home and get ready for Thanksgiving.

RAP:Give me one more moment. I have some good news for you. But quickly, would you say you are satisfied with your life?

Turkey:Yes, I may be a turkey, but I am not stupid. I am happy and have a positive attitude to serve the Almighty in my capacity. Now I hope all human beings do the same, increase their acts of goodness and kindness in appreciation for their gift of a divine image and the freedom of choice in accomplishing their life's mission!

RAP:The good news for you is that the White House has inspired our Chabad House to present you with our own once-in-a-lifetime Thanksgivukkah Presidential Pardon!

Turkey: Thank You Rabbi - To Life! To Life L'Chaim! By the way, do you know why the price of soup is so expensive this year at catered Thanksgivukkah parties? It has 24 carrots!! ...haha...gobble gobble!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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